(1988- present)- Saving the world, one heartshake and hugjump at a time.
is a speech-language pathologist in Illinois. Prefers the sound words and letters make together over their intrinsic meaning (example: teardrop, puddle, and pickle). Loves e.e. and vonnegut, and a little bit of Robert M. Sapolsky.
I'm just a girl looking for something real. Maybe I'll find it here in my truthful meanderings.
That’s an interesting idea, can you tell me more? This is a good one to use when the request is a big one with parts that are not very clear. While clarifying the idea, the child may identify some of the problematic issues on her own, which is much better than an adult pointing them out.
I’m wondering about…. this is a good way to point out a concern without directly stomping on the idea.
Why do you think this is a good idea? Requires the child to analyze the idea and make a case.
Can you give me three reasons why this is a good idea? Similar to the last one, this one is especially good for older children. Finding worthwhile reasons to support the idea means that they have to really think it through, and possibly look at it from your point of view.
I can say yes, if you...Gives the child a chance to make the idea work. Could be the child isn’t willing to work with your requirement, but it puts the responsibility back on the child, rather than on you.
Can you see a problem with this idea? Encourages the child to find and solve the problem himself. If it turns out to be an nonviable idea, he will figure it out on his own.
Not now, but you can ask again later and the answer might be different. Sometimes, this is really true. The idea is fine, but the timing is wrong. Ideally, give a specific time the child can ask again.
I’ll think about it. This gives you some time to really think it through. Just remember that this answer can’t be given forever. At some point, a choice must be made.
There will be days when you want to just throw in the towel and give up. There will be days of stiff necks and no sleep and sore muscles. People will be cruel. Food will go bad. You will feel like the world is out to get you. Everything will start to frustrate you, the news will make you sad. Winter will creep up on you and you will find yourself alone and burrowing yourself in your schoolwork to try to keep the loneliness at bay.
But then spring arrives. Something big blooms in your chest. Sparrows sing to you and the air suddenly is clearer. You fall in love. You will grow a garden. Good things will start to come to you, beautiful people will find you. Remember those good things when the days get cold and the nights get long. Remember that you deserve to feel good. That you deserve to have good people and good food and a safe place to come home to. Remember that bad moods pass and that all bad days end. And that no matter where you are or how lonely you get, somebody out there is looking for you and is waiting for you to find them and give them your love.
— excerpt from “letter to my future daughter” by esperanza friel (via byrdseed)
Keep your vibration high. Let go of complaining (and listening to it), details and incessant talking. Listen more, use less words and choose your words carefully (do they rise your vibration or lower it?), let go of gossiping (or listening to it), and focus on Being Love. Choose to be with other high-vibrational people and let go of anything that pulls your energy down. Pay attention to how you feel; that is your Inner Guide.